Save us from Media Studies students!

I was on the train on the way up to Manchester this morning - on the next table along were four undergraduates on the way to the BBC for a recruitment day out and clearly part of their day was to propose potential new programme formats. Well - they spoke very loudly and earnestly about their ideas for radical new television shows and all made notes in their moleskin notebooks. Their ideas were so derivative and tired it made me chuck and I made a note of some of them;

1. "Darts players - wives & girlfriends" - a reality show investigating the love lives of darts players. @bendavison tells me it's been done already, sigh.
2. A series of documentaries that challenge racism by featuring the apparently growing Bollywood porn industry...!
3. "Strictly come prancing"- reality show for jockeys.
4. "Blaggers with attitude"; documentary series following people around the festivals who manage to score free stuff; t-shirts etc.
5. "Bankrupt celeb finance boot-camp"; broke Z-listers learning how to manage the money they get from Heat Magazine.
6. "Boyle Baron" - singer Susan Boyle learns the ins and outs of the oil industry.
7. "The Grapes of Hoff"- David Hasselhoff becomes a vintner.
8. "Frankie goes to Bollywood" - ex. members of the 80s band learn Indian dance moves; they also discussed if it should be for Comic Relief(!)
9. "The Yids are alright" - Pete Townsend explores Jewish culture.
10. "Train of thought"- a gameshow set on the West Coast Mainline. Different stations would signal different rounds. Would suit Alan Titchmarsh?

So - BBC, stop employing media-studies graduates and instead give English/History/Classics students a shot at making some original TV.

If you see any of these formats on BBC3 in eighteen months time you read it here first!